By Michelle Zheng

Middle age is often regarded as a stage of life that is full of challenges. We’ve all heard the term "midlife crisis", which many people go through and can entail feelings of confusion, exhaustion, and even disillusionment with the lives that we have built for ourselves. We hear less, however, about how middle age can be an opportunity for self-awakening, a turning point for re-examining oneself and exploring the meaning of life.

In this article, CEIBS Associate Professor of Organisational Behaviour Michelle Zheng delves into the truth behind midlife crises, and how to transform this unique stage of life into a new starting point.

In 2010, The Economist published an article titled "The U-Curve of Life", which noted that people often experience a period of low happiness in middle age. On average, people would climb out of this midlife crisis trough at the age of 46 and reach a turning point in terms of their happiness. What exactly is this behind this turning point And could understanding this help us find a way to reduce unhappiness in middle age?

Upon feeling this creeping sense of unhappiness, many middle-aged people, immediately seek external solutions and take drastic action: classic examples include quitting their jobs without notice, getting divorced, undergoing plastic surgery, or dropping commitments to travel around the world. Psychological research shows, however, that these superficial rebellions in middle age might not be the answer to climbing out of the trough.

The term "midlife crisis" often brings to mind anxiety, breakdown, and even madness. But in fact, the "midlife transition" in psychology is more often an "awakening" than a "crisis".

In his book The Seasons of a Man's Life, psychologist Daniel Levinson proposed that middle age (40 to 45 years old) is a period of structural transformation in one's life. During this stage, people often start to question the values, lifestyles, and roles they have adhered in their life so far. They begin to ask themselves, "Is what I have been striving for all these years really what I want?", a question that becomes a needle quietly piercing the bubble of their seemingly stable life.

This kind of awakening is usually subtle rather than dramatic. People start to question the value of milestones that they once took for granted, such as getting a promotion and a raise, buying a house and a car, and sending their children to good schools. They also become sensitive to small problems in their life: doing the same things every day but lacking enthusiasm; achieving more and more but still not getting a sense of true fulfilment.

Psychologist Carl Jung divided life into the "first half" and the "second half". In the first half, we look outward, pursuing achievements and social recognition; in the second half, we need to look inward, seeking meaning and our true selves. Midlife awakening is the turning point on this path.

Why does awakening often occur in middle age?

Because you finally have the space to have a conversation with yourself.

I once asked my students in class, "Without your job title, who are you?"

Many people, including myself, struggled to answer.

When we’re young, we’re often busy rushing outward, always thinking about achieving something rather than becoming someone. The reason that awakening often occurs in middle age is that this is when we have had enough social experiences and sufficient familiarity with whatever we regard as success. This gives us the confidence to stop and ask, "What about me?"

Harvard Business School Professor Arthur C. Brooks once said, "You are not your job title." This statement seems simple at first, but for many professionals can often not be truly understood until a certain point in life. Prof. Brooks reminds us to be wary of "career identity addiction" binding self-worth to professional achievements, influence, or job titles.

For high achievers who have long defined themselves by their accomplishments, this reliance can be particularly perilous. According to Prof. Brooks, those who build their entire self-identity on what they do for a living and recognition from others may be building a house on sand, constructing an identity on shaky foundations that could easily collapse due to factors outside their control. What truly endures is who a person is at their core: - their values, their relationships with others, and their ability to love and be loved. In his book From Strength to Strength, he points out that many people in middle age suddenly find themselves reckoning with a harsh reality: their professional status will inevitably begin to decline as they age. Those who try to resist this fact often suffer greater emotional distress. True freedom, therefore, comes from being willing and able to liberate oneself from one's resume.

Prof. Brooks suggests that we gradually transform the question "What do I do for a living?" into the following three questions, in order to engage in an effective dialogue with ourselves: What kind of person am I becoming? Whose lives have I truly improved? Without a title, what defines who I am?

The reason that awakening often occurs in middle age is because one can finally start to realise that they no longer have to live only by others' expectations, but can choose to redefine success by their own standards.

Turning midlife crisis into midlife awakening

How can we actively seek midlife awakening instead of suffering a sense of personal crisis?

In my view, we can do by bravely accepting life's transformations - from warrior to sage, from conquest to inheritance – instead of clinging to past glories.

When faced with the unease of middle age, many people have two typical reactions: either to boldly change the external aspects of their life, for example by changing jobs, partners, or even hairstyles, or to desperately strive to prove that they are still young, by working harder and denying fatigue. Psychological research reminds us, however, that true and profound awakening is neither a rapid reset of the external environment nor a denial of age, but a slow reorganisation of inner logic.

Prof. Books points out that experiencing midlife awakening does not mean that a person’s value is diminishing; on the contrary, it means that they are becoming able to shift from "fluid intelligence", the rapid learning, reasoning, and innovative ability of youth, to "crystallised intelligence", the knowledge, experience, and insight accumulated with decades of experience. In middle age and beyond, this crystallised intelligence becomes the true core asset, a key source that can be used to teach others, build intellectual influence, and achieve fulfilment.

Fluid intelligence

Quick thinking, learning ability, innovative reaction ability. This naturally declines with age, as the frontal lobe of the brain - which is responsible for working memory and executive functions - is the earliest to start deteriorating. Thinking speed and information processing ability begin to gradually decline between the ages of 30 to 40.

Crystallised intelligence

Judgment, integration ability, insight gained from experience. This is an intelligence that does not rely on speed, but on age. It cannot be acquired quickly, but once possessed, remains extremely stable.

When people strive to maintain the speed and acuity they once had, but fail to accept the natural decline of their abilities, they may fall into anxiety or confusion, particularly regarding their career. For one famous example from history, consider Beethoven, rose to fame through performance and composition in his youth, but became embroiled in anger and despair as his hearing deteriorated in later life. A turning point came when he accepted reality and turned to composition, using the crystallised intelligence that he had accrued over time to create some of his most legendary works.

So, Prof. Brooks encourages middle-aged people to ask themselves this question: are you currently relying on the fluid intelligence to try and keep up?

If so, try to shift to roles that can leverage your crystallised intelligence, such as mentor, advisor, and strategist. Expand the meaning of your work from proving your worth to sharing your wisdom.

Middle age is not the beginning of a decline in intelligence; it is the starting point of a different kind of intelligence. In terms of career and psychology, awareness of this transition can help you navigate the "midlife awakening" period effectively and shift to a more mature and long-term career path.

Renowned psychologist Erik Erikson holds a similar view. He divides a person's life into eight stages, each of which contains a core psychological conflict: in infancy, one needs to identify trust and mistrust; in early childhood, one needs to learn autonomy and develop a sense of independence; at play age, one needs to take initiative; at school age, one needs to acquire a sense of diligence; in adolescence, one needs to explore identity and roles; in early adulthood, one must establish intimacy and relationships with others; in middle age, one turns to contributing to society; and in old age, one must assess and make sense of life they have led and the meaning of their contributions. If the psychological challenges in each stage are handled properly, individuals will gradually over time develop positive psychological qualities that will support them in becoming a mature and complete person.

Prof. Erikson pointed out that in middle age, one has to deal with the conflict between “Generativity” and “Stagnation”.

Generativity refers to an individual's willingness to pass on their experiences, knowledge, and care to the next generation or society as a whole, exerting influence in the world through work, nurturing, mentoring, and creation.

Stagnation, on the other hand, is manifested as continuous consumption, often entailing a gradual loss of enthusiasm, direction, and connection.

If this psychological conflict is resolved well, the individual will acquire a lasting sense of care, exhibiting continuous attention to family, society, and the world. Otherwise, the individual will likely experience burnout, emptiness, and a sense of meaninglessness.

In my experience, CEIBS students seem to share similar ideas with these psychologists. The average age of CEIBS students is around 40 to 50. In class, I often ask them to describe their ideal state of life.

In most students’ responses, there is no mention of money, career, or worldly success. Over the years, the most common theme I have heard is the leaving of inheritance. Interestingly, they often compare themselves to a tree.

In Jung's psychoanalysis, trees are the symbol of "the self" - the core and complete existence of our personality. They are rooted in the deep subconscious and constantly grow upwards. The roots are buried in dark soil, symbolising the connection between the individual and their own shadow, their primitive experiences, and the source of life; the branches represent the individual's growth of consciousness, spiritual exploration, and the realisation of values. The leaves and fruits, on the other hand, symbolise one's ability to extend outward and nourish others.

For middle-aged individuals, the big tree is not the starting point nor the end point, but a symbolic stage. It integrates who the individual is with who they wish to become. It represents a shift of focus from speed of upward growth, to the roots, and offers lessons in how to offer fruit to the next generation, to an individual’s organisation, and to society.

I often think that this similarity and consistency in responses is not a coincidence. Middle-aged students at CEIBS, many of whom are experiencing midlife awakening themselves, are no longer defined by titles, nor are they driven by external applause. What they long for is rootedness and connection, a shift from success to meaning, and from conquest to inheritance.

Michelle Zheng is an Associate Professor of Organisational Behaviour and Programme Co-Director of Leadership Development Programme at CEIBS. Her teaching interests include organisational behaviour, leadership, business ethics, and negotiation and decision-making. She was awarded Poets & Quants prestigious “Best 40 under 40 Business Professors” in 2021.